What To Do Until Love Finds You

A few days ago, my mom bought me a Christmas present which came in the form of a book. Immediately, I knew the thought of what it was.

"Tungkol sa love love yan no?" (That's about love, isn't it?) I asked loudly, suspecting it already.

She just laughed and said that it hadn't been wrapped yet. But I was curious so I told her she didn't need to wrap it and that I wanted to read it then and there. Besides, I never really appreciated the task of wrapping a present. (You wrap it with care, only for the person you're giving it to to rip it off. Doesn't make sense to me. :P)

It was entitled "What To Do Until Love Finds You" by Michelle McKinney Hammond.

Now, some people may think of me as...well...different people have different interpretations of my personality. But nevertheless it is indeed a fact that in my whole 19 years of living, I have never had a boyfriend. (Insert gasp here) Some people get shocked by this statement. Some people think I'm only saying it so that my parents wouldn't know about my "secret love affair". Haha! But it is undoubtedly sure that I have never had a special relationship with anyone. As to why, well maybe I'll open up about it on another day.

For now, let's talk about the book!

So she gave me this book, I'm assuming, because she wanted to help me find guidance to my suddenly resounding "heart" questions. In my long-kept preservation of such a special love, it has come to a point where some doubts are becoming heard and perhaps threatening my determination. Fears like, "What if I keep waiting for Mr. The-One-God-made-for-me and in the end he doesn't come? What if he already passed me by and I didn't recognize him?" and the worst thought of all was, "What if there is no Mr. The-one-God-made-for-me?" These things have become ponderous queries as of late. Without realizing it, I'd become worried.

I was, at first, reluctant to read it. But curiosity got the better of me and I opened the darned book! The way she wrote was interesting, like she was just writing a letter to a friend, or perhaps a junior in school. Soon, I found myself regarding this author as a friend who is far too chit-chatty, but at the same time, charming and kind. I was slowly devouring every page.

The first few chapters, about realizing the depth of the Love of the Lord and knowing your worth: I knew those things already. Thank God for having shown me my worth through His love in the past year. It was all about the importance of treasuring yourself as a WOMAN OF THE LORD, and setting your standards to nothing lower than what God deems worthy of you.

I myself have had my standards questioned many times, by both men and women. Some people think it's too high, or too strict. Because of that, I was "of course going to" have difficulty finding a boyfriend. I faintly recall someone telling me something along the lines of:

"I know you want a perfect relationship but I can't give that to you."

To which I felt indignant and hurt. It was like telling me to lower my standards 'coz no one could possibly EVER reach it. Was I asking for the impossible? Was I asking for too much? But my parents said no. You had to have standards.

If you had a beautiful diamond ring (or anything you'd consider your most IMPORTANT and most PRIZED possession) and someone came up to you saying, "I'll give you 5 centavos for that ring." would you give it to him for the five centavos? Of course you'd say, "Niloloko mo ba ako?" (Are you kidding me?) You don't even know what will happen to that ring if you give it to that person! What if he loses it? Or scratches it? Or worse yet, what if he treats it like it's made of glass?

To your parents, your friends, and to God, YOU ARE THAT DIAMOND RING (A.K.A. Most important and prized possession). They can see how much you are worth and that is why they don't want to give you away to a person who thinks you're only worth 5 centavos. So don't resent them for telling you to have standards. Most importantly, don't resent yourself for not bending to the ways of the world.

1 John 2:15-17 Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world. And the world passes away, and the lust thereof: but he that does the will of God abides forever.

I admit, it was hard to accept that. Even if I feel that I could have had a good relationship with that person, if he doesn't understand what I'm worth, how long will that 'good relationship' last? I was very tempted and almost gave in to accepting just ANYONE who would take me. But the Lord would have none of that! He told me that there was absolutely nothing wrong with wanting the love that I deserve and that if I wait long enough, I'll be able to see the wonderful man He handmade especially for me.

James 1:12 Blessed is the man that endures temptation: for when he is tried, he shall receive the crown of life, which the Lord has promised to them that love Him.

I also agree with most, if not all, the writings within this empowering book. Michelle presses, and I agree, that having a relationship (whether lovers or marriage) is not only about the two individuals within it. It's about how you affect the people and happenings around you, and what kind of message you are getting across with your relationship.

If a child sees his mother yelling at his father while the daddy threatens to inflict physical pain or leave mommy, the child will learn this kind of 'love', and the cycle will continue. Does this kind of turn out glorify His Holy name?

Some people may notice, I write "May the Glory be to God" in a lot of my public statements. This is a motto I do my best to live by. It means that any glory I may gain, I give back to the Lord. But that is only part of it. How you gain it and why you gain it, are also crucial components of your offering.

Living a truly Christian life is no walk in the plaza, as I'm sure some of you may already know. It's EXTREMELY HARD to be pure in THOUGHTS, WORDS, AND DEEDS when the world around you just tries so hard to tear you and your faith apart! But (as it has been said time and time again in church) none of the things you have are actually yours. In truth, EVERYTHING (even your very breath) is borrowed from the Lord. So if you love Him, how do you repay His love? Definitely not with money.

What does the Lord ask of you in return for that never-ending, unrelenting, above-everything-else stubborn love? That you let Him rest in your heart for as long as you live. Simple, no? If you declare yourself a lover of the Lord, a Christian, and a believer, then it comes with the package that everything you do REFLECTS upon your Master and Savior.

...and I mean EVERYTHING. Including your choice of words, your choice of deeds, and your choice of who you give your heart to.

So, I'm not sure if you know my reason for not having a boyfriend yet, but I'm guessing you already know what I'm mostly about. Besides, I'm not aiming to have a boyfriend. A boyfriend is like milk: it has an expiration date. I'm aiming to have a life-partner, a husband. As the name implies, we'll be together for life! Isn't that so much better? I think so~

As of yet, I haven't finished the book. I'm still half way to the end but I just felt like I had to write out some of my provoked thoughts while I'm reading. It's refreshing to know that someone of the world far beyond your own, encourages you to stay firm in reserving your love for that one person who fully deserves it.

"So where's your Mr. Right then?" some may ask.

"He's getting ready to love me completely, of course!" would be my mayabang (arrogant) answer. He's not here yet because we're both not yet ready to live our lives with each other. We still have some kinks getting worked out, we're still being molded to fit each other perfectly. I, myself, understand that I have some flaws that may lead to breaking someone if I let it pass. I don't want that.

Genesis 2:18 Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.”

I want to be his encourager, his defendant; his best friend, and his most efficient assistant. I want to help build him up and be a part of what makes him a man worthy of God's love. I hope to become the helper fit for that man so that he will be one of the great instruments for the Lord's will. How amazing would that be? BEST. WORK. EVER.

So to the person God made for me, if ever you get to read this: know that you are blessed by the Lord Himself! Because I am preparing myself for your arrival into my life, and once you're here, I will be your most loyal friend, lover, and wife. I will do my best to make you proud of me and to treasure you like you are my diamond ring. :) Because I was made for you in every way (God approved).