Conversation With Him

It is really a marvelous feeling when you know that the Holy Spirit is talking to you directly.

In my youth, I've always known that I was a Christian. When people asked me what religion I was, I'd say I'm Christian. But I never really got into what it really means to be one.

Up until last year, I've always been driving my life. My problems are mine to fix and when I can't fix them anymore, that's when I turn to prayers. It seemed that the only reason I was a Christian was to get things done easy in my life.

But a lot of things changed after my 18th birthday. The Lord deemed it time to awaken me. Awakened, I was. He subjected me to the Fire. It was excruciating, almost devouring me from within. But despite that Fire, He sent me a Mold. That mold caught me when I felt like I was melting out of shape. It contoured me into something akin to what I was before, but more refined...somehow more of what I was supposed to be from the start.

In that time of molding, I learned one important lesson.

Listen.

Not hear, because hearing is only sensing it. But, Listen: as in taking what you hear and understanding it so that it will influence your thoughts and decisions. You can't have a conversation when you're the only one speaking. He's willing to listen, but are you?

Isaiah 1:18
"Come now, and let us reason together, saith the LORD: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow;though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool."

In the span of a few months, He taught me to Listen. Through my friend, N, and J, and especially my beloved guide G, He reached out to me. He told me to do the following:

1. Calm down.

"I understand that your life is feeling out of control right now. But you have to calm down; stay still because the more you struggle, the more you sink."

2. Be Quiet.

"Take the time to think, to feel, and to respond. You don't have to defend yourself against every single hit. I'll do that for you."

3. Trust Me.

"When I say you can do it, TRUST ME. Because I made you and I should know what you can and cannot do. I know you're afraid, and I know you've been hurt, but believe that I will carry you across the sand to a place where I'm sure you will be filled with true happiness."

It wasn't easy, I tell you. But I tried.

Some people may already be tired of hearing me say this because I have said it many times before. But it's true. The Bible changed my life. When I read it with understanding, I found myself Listening to His words, telling me exactly the things I needed to hear. For some freaky coincidence (or should I even call it that?) whatever troubled me deeply at that time would be expressed and answered in the verse I was reading. It's like He said, "I understand that this is your problem, I understand you feel like this and that. So this is how my children do it, give it a try."

I was slowly able to patch things up with the people I've been resenting under His and The Bible's guidance. Even myself.

I've also said it many times before, I've always had a problem with my self-confidence. I never knew where to draw the line between humble and putting myself down; or confident and being egoistic. I was so afraid to be confident and to appear mayabang (arrogant) that instead, I tried to be "humble" by always giving myself pity parties and telling myself to focus on what I lack and what I can never be.

How twisted was I then? Pretty twisted, I'd say.

God knew that long-standing problem of mine. So He gave me the story of John the Baptist. He was a man who baptized people in preparation for the coming of His Holy Son, Jesus Christ. He was so righteous that people began to praise him and regard him as one of the highest as well. You'd think he'd get full of himself and start thinking, "Hey, pwede." (It's possible) but no, he instead told them that he was just a servant. He humbly declared that he was a son of the earth and that he was not even worthy of the One from Heaven.

John 3:31 “He that cometh from above is above all: he that is of the earth is earthly, and SPEAKETH OF THE EARTH: he that cometh from heaven is above all.”

Through John's example, I realized what TRUE humility was. I wanted to be like him: to serve the Lord with fervor and a humble heart. He knew where he stood and what his limitations were. He accepted that there was someone far greater and more worthy of the praises. Learning that lesson changed my outlook completely of who I was in this world, and why I do what I do.

I humbled myself. I calmed down. I became quiet. Then I trusted Him.

Each day of reading the bible was like waiting for the cement to dry before I put on top yet another floor: It felt like nothing was happening. But deep inside, something was becoming stronger and stronger until the time came that I was able to carry a new load. One that I never thought I could be able to carry before.

Well, the journey had been long and hard. But in all those times, I walked with Him in the sand of life. My footprints, though wavering, were following His straight ones. There were times I'd see only one pair of prints, and then I'd realize that He had put his arms behind my knees and my back. He had carried me past that part where the waves washed too close and threatened to wet my feet.

How wonderful is it that our bond now is so strong that even without the Bible, I can hear Him speaking?! He speaks so loudly, and yet so meekly. His words are not words at all, yet when it is from Him, I KNOW deep in my heart.

The best part? I'm not the only one! He has blessed me with wonderful people in my life. People whom He speaks to as well. N and J are people from my age, they also have an extremely strong bond with Him. He talks to us on a daily basis and in most, if not all our decisions, He has a say. Perhaps that's why we have all been so blessed. Siksik, liglig, umaapaw. FULL and OVERFLOWING blessings far beyond our beginnings.

I am so happy to be able to speak to Him so freely, and so closely. He proves to be the oasis to any sand dune I may be in. His presence is so powerful that He has become practically tangible!
I really wish I could share this joy with others. It adds to my happiness when I see other people who are also experiencing the joy I feel.

It'll be Christmas tomorrow. This is the day we commemorate the true extent of God's sacrifice. He gave us His son. I pray that everyone will be able to feel the joy I feel, wherever they may be or whatever situation they may be in.

God is knocking on the doors of our hearts. Let Him in and give Him the keys! He'll take extra good care of you if you trust. Trusting Him doesn't mean that nothing bad will ever happen. It means that no matter what happens, He will make sure you make it to the end better than you could ever be on your own.

Everything will be better in the end. If it's not yet better, then it's definitely not the end. :) Job was a devoted believer and even he was not spared from pain. But nevertheless, he kept his faith and trust in the Lord. After he was tested, the Lord gave back what He had taken. Job's faith had leveled up! He was stronger than before by tenfolds!

James 1:12 Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.

Let Him in today.

Give Him the keys.

Sit down and have a good, heart felt, honest conversation with Him.

...and watch as He changes your life for the better.

Merry Merry Christmas to every single one of you! May God bless you and walk with you in your life~!