Courage

I woke up today with a renewed awareness of my own shortcomings. My inferiority complex came back to me and I was having a hard time pushing it away. Wherever I looked, there was always someone better, more beautiful, more charismatic, more talented....and I felt like I had nothing of worth compared to talented, beautiful, charismatic people like that.

Why again am I here? Those were the things my complex made me tell myself. "Stop dreaming too big, you'll never get there." "Look at that, that's what you can never be." "Compare yourself to that and you'll lose completely!" "It's impossible! Just give up now." "Just accept that you can't be like that. Accept your own limits!"

I was drowning in just a matter of minutes. I could feel all the confidence and dreams I worked so hard on slipping away just because I can't believe in myself strongly enough. Depression was knocking at my door and it was picking the lock to get in.

There I sat, cowering in my corner, waiting for my worst enemy to come and take me away. I felt helpless again. So I prayed. I surrendered my fears and my hurt to the Lord and asked Him what I should do.

I couldn't hear an answer for a while, my thoughts were still knocking too loud. But soon I heard a whisper and I knew it was Him. I prayed again and Listened. This time, I got my answer.

2 Chronicles 32:7-8
"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or discouraged because of the king of Assyria and the vast army with him, for there is a greater power with us than with him. With him is only the army of flesh, but with us is the LORD our God to help us and to fight our battles." And the people gained confidence from what Hezekiah the king of Judah said."

Is my Lord amazing or what?

I praise Him with all my heart.

On this day, the last day of the year 2010, I was given a glimpse of who I was before and who I am now. When I walked without Him, I brought myself down and surrendered to my fears. But now that He walks with me, my fears become pebbles in the sand. He is with me, and so I will fear no path He leads me to. Now I'm going to look to my future with courage!

Romans 1:17
"And Jesus said unto them ... , "If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to younder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible to you."

My Lord proves to me again the depth of His love and greatness. It doesn't matter how high I can reach or how far I can go. He will do everything in accordance to His plan and to be a part of it is an honor in and of itself.

Praise be to God and may all of you have a very happy New Beginning!