To Heed His Call

Despite my sometimes obvious eccentricity, I am actually the kind of person who is happy to stay in my little box of comforts. I'm happy with my close knit of friends, and I'm happy staying in my room doing whatever things I like to do. I grew up in a "box" and I'm happy in there.

But the Lord wants so much more from me.

I don't doubt Him. I know He gave it in me to be able to do what He asks. But I am scared. I don't exactly see what He sees and I don't think a lot of other people see it either. In my head, I'm thinking, "I'm just me. What could I possibly do? I don't even pass on other people's standards, what more somewhere else?"

The first time He called upon me, I was also this way: petrified to take the leap. He was ripping the edges of my cardboard box apart and pulling me out into a world that I wasn't familiar with. I closed my eyes tight and held His arm with a vice-like grip, trembling from my knees to my teeth, and screaming, "LORDIDUNWANNA! LORDIDUNWANNA!"

But I came out breathing still, stronger...better than I was before. I will always be thankful for that and I will never forget the greatness of His wisdom. But just when I was getting comfortable in this slightly larger box, He comes knocking again!

"Come now, we have somewhere else to go." He says to me with that cheeky grin of His.

"EH!?" I reply with reluctance. "Lord...but...I'm doing okay here." I answered, pulling my arm back from His hold. "I'm not even perfecting it here yet. Why do I have to go out there?" He kept His silence, waiting for me to finish ranting in my head and once again bringing myself down like the many times I did before. "I'm comfortable here and if I leave, then I won't be able to bring the couch with me, or my new phone, or my favorite plushy! What will that world outside the box be like? What if they don't like me there? What if I won't survive?"

He waited until I calmed down and only spoke once I asked Him again the question I seem to always ask Him. "Why me?"

He answered with a smile.

Isaiah 61
The Year of the LORD’s Favor
The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me,
because the LORD has anointed me
to proclaim good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives
and release from darkness for the prisoners,[a]
to proclaim the year of the LORD’s favor
and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn,
and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
instead of ashes,
the oil of joy
instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
a planting of the LORD
for the display of his splendor.

They will rebuild the ancient ruins
and restore the places long devastated;
they will renew the ruined cities
that have been devastated for generations.
Strangers will shepherd your flocks;
foreigners will work your fields and vineyards.
And you will be called priests of the LORD,
you will be named ministers of our God.
You will feed on the wealth of nations,
and in their riches you will boast.

Instead of your shame
you will receive a double portion,
and instead of disgrace
you will rejoice in your inheritance.
And so you will inherit a double portion in your land,
and everlasting joy will be yours.

“For I, the LORD, love justice;
I hate robbery and wrongdoing.
In my faithfulness I will reward my people
and make an everlasting covenant with them.
Their descendants will be known among the nations
and their offspring among the peoples.
All who see them will acknowledge
that they are a people the LORD has blessed.”

I delight greatly in the LORD;
my soul rejoices in my God.
For he has clothed me with garments of salvation
and arrayed me in a robe of his righteousness,
as a bridegroom adorns his head like a priest,
and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels.
For as the soil makes the sprout come up
and a garden causes seeds to grow,
so the Sovereign LORD will make righteousness
and praise spring up before all nations.

I wonder if Peter, Andrew, James, or John ever felt this way. They were fishermen who, upon the calling of Jesus Christ, quickly put down their nets and followed Him. Did they too feel fear of leaving behind what and who they were before? Or is fear just a means of the devil to hold you back from shining for God and doing what He wills for your life?

Now that I think about it, it makes a lot of sense. When the devil sees the people of God moving to win their battles, He injects little bits of doubt in each and every one of them. Just a little bit of Wrath, pride, lust, sloth, envy, gluttony, or greed harbored inside all of us can steer us far from our main goal: which is to glorify God and do His Holy will. I've seen these little sins destroy great people again and again. Is it now happening to me?

I refuse to let the devil win this time. I refuse to be afraid. God gave no such thing as limits to what we can do when we are aiming to win for Him. I may be small, I may be weak, I may not be the best, and I may not know it all but the Lord is by my side all the way. Bigatin ata ang partner ko!

Time to heed His call! Get your gears ready, men, coz we are marching off to battle!